Born to be Touched
We are born with an intense skin
hunger. Babies have a huge need for touch and if not available
can interfere with their emotional development. As adults we
have a strong need to hold hands, be held in someone's arms,
to hug, receive a nonsexual massage, have our face or arms stroked,
be cuddled, caressed, etc.
Somewhere between babyhood and
adulthood we develop touch barriers which can be harmful to
our well-being. Touch is a God given need that we never outgrow.
Touch can be richly enjoyed for its own sake, and not just as
a prelude to sex.
Surveys have shown that overwhelmingly
most people do not touch as much as they would like, especially
with the opposite sex, even when no other sexual activity is
desired. We often cover up our need for intimacy by activities,
sports, TV, work, church, or by using food, drugs, alcohol,
or sex for only selfish physical pleasure.
Touch as Communication of Love
Touch is the most powerful way
to communicate empathy, friendship, approval, affirmation and
love to another. Our inner spirits can nurture and share with
each other most powerfully through caring touch.
Touch as Physically Beneficial
Touch messages are transmitted
to our brain through a network of over 100 billion neurons.
Once the brain receives the touch message, it has powerful effects,
stimulating the production of chemicals that provide physical
good feelings, as well as good emotions by combining with certain
hormones and enzymes in the blood.
Research at the University of Miami
Touch Therapy Institute found that the person who gives touch
via massage also feels better. Stress levels go down and visits
to doctors went down.
Breaking Your Touch Barriers
With friends or even strangers
in a trusted situation, practice breaking the touch barrier
and together discover that healthy, wholesome touching can put
you more in touch with humanity and yourself.
If you want more touch in your
life, you must risk reaching out to touch. Sometimes you will
be rejected, but the joy from the times when you can find another
sincere toucher far outweigh the times of rejection. Be sensitive
to the fact that some types of touch are more appropriate than
others for new relationships or strangers. A touch to the arm
can be a non threatening way to get a feel of the others comfort
Hugs - Example of Wholesome
Hugs are easy, portable, saves
heat, provides stretching exercise if you are short, requires
no special equipment, does not upset the environment, yet makes
happy days happier, makes impossible days possible, a cure for
depression and loneliness and eases tension. All that is required
is two participating humans.
Cuddling The Best (women
know this, men learn!)
Cuddling, nude or dressed, with
tender stroking of face, hands, whole body is my favorite form
of sincere, loving intimacy. It does not have to be just a prelude
to sex. It can lead to beautiful full body sexuality only if
mutually desired with proper precautions for health and the
emotional wellbeing of both people. I also refer to it as Caress
Therapy that every fully alive human needs!
Sensuality, Sexuality and Lust
Touch is a form of sensuality,
the wholesome enjoyment of the body senses God gave us for our
emotional and physical well being and pleasure.
Sexuality is a divine gift of even
greater pleasure through sex. Sex should be pleasure sharing
at its best but also with concerns for health issues, protection
from unwanted children etc. Many sexual techniques can be learned
which, especially for women, are often more physically pleasurable
than just intercourse.
Lust is the selfish gratification
of a person's sex drive for their own physical pleasure. Lust
is very different from mutual pleasure sharing in sexuality
or non sexual sensuality through touch.
Love Can Be Sincerely Shared
For The Moment
Love does not have to mean a long
term commitment but rather sincere love for the uniquely wonderful
human spirit you can share with at this moment in time. Love
is like peanut butter ... it needs to be spread around in a
sincere caring way. More people in the world are starving for
love and affection than for food.
We without hesitation hold a baby,
stroke a cat, but often avoid touching another person. Love
needs physical expression, yet we fear it so we sit in loneliness
and physical isolation, too uptight to share in the beauty of
How to Get In Touch
Sensate focusing techniques can
also be pleasurable without having to take off clothing yet
can explore pleasurable touch.
Watsu Water Shiatsu Massage. Cradled
and rocked in warm hot springs water relaxed by shiatsu massage
and supported by water and another person. Can be also enjoyed
using Tantsu massage on land.
More To Sex Than Just Sex
Sexual fulfillment is much more
than sticking a penis in a vagina and wiggling or pumping. Women
know that this is often not the most satisfying sex. The goal
of sex should be maximum pleasure sharing both physically as
well as the beautiful feeling of loving and caring for the inner
spirit of each other.